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….is soccer!
Except, in his version of the game, you hold up your right hand, step on the ball with your right foot, lose balance when the ball moves, land on your bottom, but cheer anyway and feel accomplished because you made the ball move. The rules require that you have sole control of the baa at all times. Throw it over the bridge into the water if you have to, but never let your brother within two feet of it. That’s Plane Soccer.
…of fat hanging around your waist, when you hear this…
Actually, Amma, your tummy is a planet.
!! No, it’s not!
Yes, Amma, it is. See, it is this fat. *arms stretched out a little* No, no, it is THIS fat. *arms stretched out wider*
Okay, okay, I know how fat it is…
…so it is a planet, and this here (the navel) is a volcano, and this here (a stretch mark) is my hotel..that’s where I will live. And this in the back is where my house is.
There, now that he’s mapped out the topography, I think it is time. Now, where did I put those running shoes? Dammit, I don’t have any!
As soon as I read this post on a blog I lurk on, I knew I had to copy paste it 
It is a list of 20 some questions that you ask your kid, then you write up their responses and blare it to the whole world so they will never forgive you. Big deal, right? Read the questions and you’ll know why this is so much fun. Would have been a blast to try it on Mother’s Day, but when all you want to do is to corner your 3.5yo, days and time should not come in the way.
This is how Kodi fumbled through them….
What is something I say to you?
something.
(smart ass!) No, I mean specifically, what do I say to you?
maal
Huh?
kaal
what is that?
ball. *giggle*
Ok forget it. (Great start.)
What makes me sad?
When I misbehave.
What makes me happy?
Good things.
Like?
When I don’t misbehave.
(A man of words, aren’t you?)
How do I make you laugh?
You go hahahaha.
(I so don’t!)
What do you think I was like when I was a child?
You were small, your head was small. (What you don’t know is that my head and its contents are still small.)
How old am I?
Don’t know. (Pathetic, to not even know your mom’s age! Even after he ate half my birthday cake only a few months ago. Then again, given that it too large a number in his realm, this could actually be a good thing. )
How tall am I?
THIS tall. *with hand on top of my head.*
What is my favorite thing to do?
Library, mall.
(You got that right, baby!)
What do I do when you’re not around?
You work.
(Hahaha! You think so??! HAHA!) But what do I do?
You blog.
(errm oohkay…moving on..)
If I become famous for something, what will it be for?
What does famous mean?
It means many people will know me and they’ll say wow at me.
If anyone says wow at you, I will dishyum them.
!!! What?! Why? No, no, I didn’t mean it that way….forget it, never mind, next question…
What am I really good at?
Making tofu.
(Maybe that’s what I’ll become famous for…)
What am I not really good at?
Making asparagus.
(What…eva!! Just because I don’t make it as good as his dad doesn’t mean I am not good at it. Hmmmmpfff!!)
What do you and I do together?
Monopoly!!!
What is my job?
I just told you!
No, you didn’t.
Ammaaaa (eyeroll, headroll)
Yeasssss??
(big sigh) You give presentations, that’s your job.
That’s not my job! That’s your dad’s!!
(Do you even know me?!)
What is my favorite food?
Curd rice
(Don’t answer that, you don’t know me at all, pal, tsk tsk..)
What makes you proud of me?
(sigh) can we play monopoly?
Yes, yes, but what is something I do that makes you proud?
Ok you can work and everything but when the sand timer comes down you should stop working that will make me proud.
(What is that line about truth being bitter? )
What is something that you do that makes me proud?
When I talk on the phone.
How are we both the same?
We both have computers.
(Ahh. Good genetic trait we share.)
How are we both different?
You are white, I am brown.
(Okay, okay. We know you know your colors.)
How do you know I love you?
Don’t know, don’t know!
(You don’t know??? What about the thousand times I say I love you? Do you even listen? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all…)
What is the one thing you wish you could change about me?
(sigh) I am tiiiired….
I know, we’re almost done, is there anything I do that you don’t want me to do?
Yes.
There is? Tell me, tell me!
See, Amma, you should not play with plug points, you will get shock.
(Geek!)
What do you wish you could go and do with me?
don’t know, don’t know, don’t knowww….*singing*
With that, he slithered from my grip and ran away.
ETA: Please take it up as a tag, if you have a gullible victim at home!
